


Five Things Time Lords Don't Do - But the Doctor Definitely Does

by RHHP_Freak



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Drunk Doctor, Drunk Rose, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Romance, Snogging, Wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-29
Updated: 2013-01-29
Packaged: 2017-11-27 10:23:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/660861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RHHP_Freak/pseuds/RHHP_Freak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor has done many things the Time Lords did not like. If only they could see him now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Things Time Lords Don't Do - But the Doctor Definitely Does

_1\. He daydreams_ :  
It wasn't his fault, honestly! Rose should have known better than to wear such a short skirt with an almost see through top. In fact, she should know it was better ( _worse, definitely worse_ ) if she covered every single inch of her body. It would be much, much easier for him to concentrate on fixing his sonic screwdriver. Every once in a while he would glance at her, but luckily she didn't notice. She was deeply engrossed in one of her magazines.

What would happen if he marched over to her, threw the magazine away and snogged her? He could practically feel her hands tearing at his hair, his arms around her waist. He could imagine running his arms up her back, feeling her shiver under his touch. Maybe he would run his fingers through her blonde hair, just to feel it.

"Doctor, are you all right?" she suddenly asked. She had stopped reading and was now staring at him. He realized he must have been staring at her for several minutes, lost in this daydream...no, it wasn't a daydream, time lords do not daydream, especially about their human companion no matter how beautiful, attractive, gorgeous, sexy she was. He was lost in thoughts, that was all, just like he always was.

"What? Yeah, sorry, I was just lost in thought there for a moment. With a brain the size of mine, it's bound to happen once in a while." There, that was the truth after all, because Time Lords do not daydream. Never, ever, ever. Not in a billion years.

"You were just... staring at me..." Oh, damn it! Why did he stare at her? Why had he been staring at her. Now she would know all about his little... thought.

"Well, you were in my line of vision I guess," he smiled at her, biting back a comment about how she was quite pleasant to stare at. He had a feeling she wouldn't like that. Or maybe she would. Women liked compliments, didn't they.

"Oh, okay..." did she actually sound disappointed? Part of him hoped so. Maybe that meant she wanted him to stare at her. Maybe even do some more. Like kissing her, holding her tighter than usual, running his fingers through her hair.

"Doctor, you're doing it again!" Rose laughed. He shook himself out of it.

"Hm? Oh, right, sorry," he said and avoided her gaze. I think I need a cup of tea. Do you want to join me?" He held out his hand and she took it. He tried to avoid the onslaught of images of him snogging her. He really, really needed a cup of tea and possibly a long, cold shower.

_2\. He gets sick_ :  
The Doctor felt truly horrible. In fact, he felt like something a cat had chewed and spit out again. He stumbled into the kitchen and found Jack and Rose waiting for him. He threw himself into the chair next to Rose's and downed her cup of tea.

"Hey! What are you doing?" she asked. "That was mine!" She looked at him more closely when he sighed heavily and rested his head in his hands. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just feeling a little bit tired," he said. "Anyway, where do you want to go today? I recommend Thrue, nice planet, lots of cornfields. Unless we get there in the winter, they have some terrible winters there. Or we could go to Caffet, they have a green sky and blue grass, can you believe it?"

"Well, I know where you're going," Jack said. "Back to bed." the Doctor looked up and glared at him as best as he could. "Oh, c'mon, I wouldn't take advantage of you right now. You're sick. Once you're better, now that's a different matter."

"First of all, Jack, I appreciate that you won't take advantage of me right now, second, you will never get to take advantage of me, and thirdly, I am not sick." Suddenly he felt Rose's cool hand on his forehead. "Hey!" he pulled away from her touch, even though he really, really wanted it to stay there. But he was not sick. He could not possibly be sick!

"You are sick, Doctor," Rose said. Had he spoken out loud? "You have a fever, which means you are going back to bed, now!" She grabbed his arm, pulled him up and started to drag him down the hallways towards his room. He tried to put up resistance, but he felt so tired...Well, if he couldn't do it physically, he would just talk his way out of it. He was exceptionally talented at that. Definitely, without a doubt. She would let go of him, and they could go on their epic adventure.

"Rose, I'm a Time Lord," he said. "I don't get sick! Never, ever, ever. Not in a million years, not in a billion years. I just need some coffee, and everything will be fine."

"No coffee, absolutely no coffee. I don't think the TARDIS has recovered from the last time you touched that stuff. Now, if you could get your head out of the place where the sun doesn't shine, you'll realize, that you are sick. Were all the other Time Lords this stubborn?"

"No, just me," he said and fought against the sudden nausea. "I was a special case... Rose, can we stop for a bit?" he asked, the nausea getting worse and worse. If he didn't get to a bathroom soon, things wouldn't be pretty. He just hoped he wouldn't throw up on Rose, that would be quite disgusting.

"Why do we..." she didn't finish her question as the Doctor suddenly turned very green and fell to his knees on the floor. He started to retch and even though Rose had never been good with these situations, she kneeled beside him and gently rubbed his back.

"I'm sorry," he murmured as the nausea finally started to fade away. He felt a little ashamed by all of this. He was a Time Lord, he shouldn't be throwing up, especially not in front of Rose. Of all the people in the Universe, it had to be her. Why did it hate him so much?

"It's okay, Doctor. Now, let's get you into bed before something else happens." She gently helped him back to his room and the moment his head touched the pillow, his eyes began to droop. He barely felt as she pecked his cheek. "I'll be back soon. Don't get up, if you do, I will handcuff you to the bed and leave you alone with Jack, understood?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said. Just as she was about to leave, he called, "Rose?" She turned around to look at him, and the sight of her Doctor, looking so vulnerable, so innocent almost made her heart melt. "I'm sick."

She burst out laughing the minute she was out of his earshot.

_3\. He gets drunk_ :  
He knew it had been a bad idea, coming to that bar with them, but when Jack had made the offer, he just couldn't resist. Who could when they had their chance to see their friends acting like complete idiots for a night. He had sighed before grabbing his video camera and left with them.

It had started out the way he had hoped. Jack and Rose had downed drink after drink. Rose got more and more tipsy, but Jack seemed to hold his liquor remarkably well. He had started flirting with a guy sitting next to him, who immediately fell for the Jack Harkness-charm. Rose on the other hand started flirting with the Doctor,

"Why... why aren't ya drinking Doctor?" she slurred. "A-after all, we're here to have fun, aren't we?"

"No, thanks Rose. I don't drink, and I think it was time you stopped too," he said and gently pulled the drink out of her hand.

"You know what, Doctor? Cassandra was right. You are very, very foxy." She giggled and leaned into him. "And s-slim too."

"Isn't he drinking?" Jack asked from beside him. He was holding a note in his hand and the Doctor had no doubt it was the guy's phone number. "Seriously Doc, you're so boring. Here," he thrust a drink into the Doctor's hand, "empty that and try to have fun!"

"No thanks," the Doctor said and put the glass down.

"Ooh," Rose giggled. "The- the Doctor's a chicken. A great, big chicken with... with some really great hair," she started to run her fingers through it. "Is... is it some kind of Time Lord thing? You all have superhair?"

"I am not a chicken," the Doctor said and grabbed the glass, downing it. The liquor burned on its way down, but he refused to cough. "There, I did it."

"Hey, you do know how to drink," Jack said and handed him another glass. "C'mon Doc, don't stop now. The party's just getting started. "

"Drink Doctor," Rose said. "Ooh, double-d. Drink Doctor," she giggled a little and sipped at her forgotten drink.

The Doctor sighed, but did it anyway. And so it continued for about an hour. The Doctor drank whatever it was Jack handed him with Rose's encouragement.

It was not long before he started to feel weird. Very, very weird. Good weird. Soon, he started laughing at some of Jack's inappropriate jokes and even came up with some new ones himself, though he wasn't sure they actually understood them.

The tension between himself and Rose grew thicker and soon they were trying to sit on the same barstool, which caused them to fall down quite a lot of times. Not that they cared. Instead they rolled around on the floor, laughing their heads off.

It was like the burden of the Universe had been lifted of his shoulders, though he could not imagine why. At least not until Jack handed him another drink. The penny dropped, and he soon recognized the symptoms. Impaired speech, the clumsiness, why he could no longer control himself.

"Jackieboy," he said. "Wh-what is that?"

"This? Oh, it's just a little thing I made a few days ago. Twice as strong as any alcohol you will find in the nearest galaxies and too much for a Time Lord to handle," Jack giggled at the Doctor's expression. "You're drunker than Rose now."

"Jacks, I am going to kill both of you," he said and blindly lunged for the second Jack. He missed and fell heavily to the floor, where he fell asleep. Rose giggled and laid down next to him, where she too fell asleep.

"Cheers Doc," Jack said and turned his attention to the waitress. "Hi, Captain Jack Harkness, and who are you?"

The next morning was unusually quiet. The Doctor and Rose sat opposite each other with cups of teas. Rose groaned and reached for the glass of aspirin beside her. The Doctor followed the notion.

"Doctor, you can't have that," she said as quietly as she could, but the sound still made her head hurt.

"I prefer regeneration to this," the Doctor said, but Rose knocked his hand away.

"Goodmorning kids," Jack said as he entered the kitchen. Two groans of pain met him. "Oh, looks like someone could use the magic cure for a hangover. It's very easy, you just take some rotten eggs, a dead rat and mix it up with a little bit of barbeque sauce."

"I'm going to be sick," Rose said and ran for the kitchen, a hand clamped over her mouth.

"Well, Doc, I would like you to say you were wrong," Jack said and drank Rose's abandoned tea.

"'Bout what?" the Doctor said. Tthat aspirin looked really, really tempting.

"That Time Lords don't get drunk. You were so hammered last night, that I had to carry you home after a very exhausting activity, if you catch my drift."

"Jack, shut up," the Doctor said. "Fine, you're right, I got drunk last night. Are you happy now?"

"Very. Now, for Time Lords, there is a special cure for a hangover," he took out a small bottle from his pocket and handed it to the Doctor. "It's a little bit of this and a little bit of that, but I promise it will work." He opened the bottle and a horrible stench filled the room. The Doctor turned green ran out of the room too.

"I knew that would work," Jack said and laughed, but the cockiness didn't last for long. "Oh, god that smell really is horrible." and soon he was the third person that day rushing to a bathroom.

_4\. He falls in love with a human_ :  
Feeling Rose's lips under his own was better than any daydream or any actual dream he had had about this moment. Her hands were all over him, making his hair a mess, pulling at his tie, pushing the jacket off him.

Did he care? No, not really. Instead he kissed her back, messed up her hair as payback and cupped her cheek. This was beyond amazing. He grabbed her waist and together they stumbled through the hallways until they reached her room. He fumbled for the doorhandle, when she suddenly pulled away.

"Doctor..." she panted a little. He stared at her, feeling all dazed and confused. Why did she pull away now? Things were going so well, and she was the one who had decided to jump him after they came back. Then again after seeing him so close to being executed couldn't have been much fun. "Do you love me?"

How could she question that? Of course he did, he always had. He thought it was obvious, too obvious.

"Does it really need saying?" he asked and leaned forward to kiss her again, but she held up her hand, stopping him.

"Yeah, it does. Do you love me, Doctor?" She paused. "Please, just tell me."

He gulped and looked into her eyes. She really didn't know. She had no idea that he was breaking one of the most sacred rules he had. Don't fall in love with your companion. Oh, the other Time Lords would have executed him if they could see him. Did he care? Nope, not one bit.

This was it, now was the time to tell her everything. To open up, oh he had never been good at that. He leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "Rose Marion Tyler, I do love. Very, very much." He looked at her, and saw tears well up in her eyes. Oh, he really hope those were tears of joy. He gently wiped a falling tear away from her cheek. This was not how he had planned his declaration of love. He had planned less tears, more kissing and definitely less clothes... Oh, he really shouldn't go down that road right now.

"I-I love you too," she said. His hearts literally fluttered with joy and he felt like screaming it out loud. _SHE LOVES ME! SHE LOVES ME_! Maybe he could make it a video and upload it on the ITube... Anyway, he didn't scream or break out the video camera. Instead he leaned forward again and kissed her with passion. So, he wasn't supposed to fall in love with a human, so what? He honestly didn't care as he kissed her again and again and again.

_5\. He gets married to Rose Tyler_ :  
The Doctor had always been rubbish at weddings. He had attended quite a lot of them and almost all of them had ended in disaster. Okay, maybe he shouldn't have tried to make that cake bigger, but it was banana-flavoured. How was he supposed to know it would explode?

And now, stading here in an old church, he felt even worse than usual. Oh, his own weddings had always been the worst. He had been married too many times, and often it was to a companion. Although often they didn't even realize what had just happened or why the Doctor had suddenly thrown a stick at them. They had some strange costums on Xenon IV…

He shifted nervously, feeling the urge to pace. Why was this taking so long? He felt like he had to do something, like going out to find a Dalek and kick its plunger. Or kick a Cyberman's emotional inhibiter… or just save the Universe.

"Stop doing that," Jack hissed. "You're making me nervous. If you don't stop jumping three feet in air every fifth second I will get the tranquillizer darts."

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I am just no good at this. I know I shouldn't have listened to Jackie, she knew I would feel like this. She's after me Jack. She is still mad at me for snogging Rose. She is going to… to torture me."

"Doctor, are you insane?" Jack knocked on the Time Lord's forehead. "Jackie doesn't care that you snogged Rose, she doesn't care that you are in a relationship. She just wants her daughter to be happy. And I know it sounds crazy, but she wants you to be happy as well."

"Yeah, I know. I'm just…"

"Nervous?"

"More like scared out of my mind. I suck at weddings, especially my own. We should have gone to Chalse instead. We just have to shake hands and then we're married there. But you humans, always have to make it something grand… anyway, I'm just worried that I won't be able to make her happy or that she's going to regret this. She is still young, she could have any guy she wants and I…I have done things she couldn't even begin to imagine. What if she leaves me? She's going to leave me, isn't she?"

"Doc, stop angsting for a few seconds and see sense. You are going to be a great husband, and if you even consider saying you don't deserve her, I will kick your ass. Rose doesn't want any other guy, she wants you! She hasn't stopped talking about all the things you do for her. How you took her to Aglaia with those diamond trees and asked her to marry you, while the two suns were reflected in them. Now, that is what the rest of us will call romantic. Trust me, you are a great boyfriend and you will make a fantastichusband too."

The Doctor smiled faintly. "Thanks Jack, but if you ever call me Doc again, I will have to do something drastic."

"Like what, Doc…tor?"

The Doctor was about to reply when music suddenly started to play and he once again jumped three feet in air. He spun around and the sight which met him, made his jaw hit the floor and his hearts beat much, much faster. Rose looked… beautiful, bella, beau, just gorgeous… her smile was enough to light up the room. She had decided she didn't want anyone to give her away, in honour of her father's memory. It was just her, slowly walking towards him, though he could see how much she wanted to run to him. It was the same urge he felt in those moments too.

Her eyes met his and then it was just the two of them in the dusty old church. He ached to hold her again, and he just had to hold her hand again. He knew it would probably earn him a tirade from Jackie Tyler, but he did not care.

He ignored all the stares as he walked towards Rose, meeting her halfway down the aisle. He held out her hand and she took it, their fingers entwining. Together they walked up to the alter where an old priest was waiting, a big smile on his face at seeing a couple so very much in love. The Doctor thought her heard Jackie sob quietly, but surely he was imagining things.

"Dearly beloved," the priest said. "We are gathered here today to join these two people in holy matrimony…"

The Doctor zoned out for the rest of the ceremony, only conscious enough to say I do, when he had to. Instead he was looking at Rose, the way her eyes shone with unshed tears. He was the luckiest man in the Universe and for once he felt like he actually deserved it.

He had done a lot of things Time Lords didn't do, broken so many of their rules. But since when had he been the kind of person who stuck to the rules?


End file.
